It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
