I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I need water and some morals
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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