I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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