What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
