Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
