So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
