Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
