meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
