tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
