I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
we're so committed to being not committed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
