Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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