Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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