The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
