Welp...herpes.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
