If i come over, it means nothing
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
