What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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