he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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