my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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