i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
