i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
