wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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