singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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