...so i touched it.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
