we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
