This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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