and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Are we still banned from the library?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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