I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
