Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
