we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
