U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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