remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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