K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
