Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Your dad touched me again.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
