We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
