My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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