4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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