So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
