You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
