i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize