How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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