he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
nutella sex= disaster
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
don't judge my taste in strippers
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
