Sober January is a disaster.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize