it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
