Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
