i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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