He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize