i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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