are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
