For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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