I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I think my vagina is haunted
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
