It's Friday. Sex?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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