i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
