It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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