Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
