omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
