Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
