The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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