If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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