So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
