Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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