would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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