I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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