Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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