She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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