how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
