My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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