So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
