If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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