You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
