i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
third nipple confirmed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
