Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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