This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
