So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
