just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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