I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
