I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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