Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
