I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
