I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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