Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
