you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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